Dinner parties went wrong...I have to watch all of them

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CATCHING BACON MID-AIR

Finger food is an exciting topic. Common sense helps. If it jumps off the plate when touched with the knife, lay down your arms. Use your fingers. (Washing them before and after is not optional).

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Surpassing Leo Burnett. An open letter to Kindle.

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Dear Kindle,
Leo Burnett once said "We want consumers to say, 'That's a hell of a product' instead of, 'That's a hell of an ad.'"
He didn't even think of an ad when consumers would be saying: "What the hell?"

Well done, Kindle. Let me congratulate you with a new approach to advertising "Are you in or are you out?" by Tanya Kosh. It might be not necessarily the book the poor Kindle reader would ever buy. But clearly the one which would be hard to forget.

Quality-Fast

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Continuing the topic of fast food.

In-depth interviews are the best method to get to the heart of the matter. They are long, they are expensive, they are hard to conduct sometimes. Especially if the incentive you offer to the respondent is to buy them lunch. Not the best choice, I agree. How can you ask your questions with a mouth full? How can you understand the answer if the person opposite the table is trying to combine the process of being interviewed with claiming his incentive? But depending on the topic, this could be your best choice ever. And how else can you get an opinion from a hard working young men (apparently the most underrepresented group in any research).

"Hi, Ben," - I say. "can I invite you for lunch? Need to ask a couple of questions for my forthcoming book".
Ben is young, smart and busy.
"Of course," - he says. (I am his mother's friend. Recruitment is easy). "But I have a rather short lunch break. Shall we go for some quality-fast ?"

There is even a Facebook page called "Quality-Fast". Or should I say was? (translation on the picture below is provided by Facebook itself).

Ben is still to select his quality-fast (good food with blitz-service).

But I have some findings already: Quality-Fast is useful. Not easy to find, at least in the viscinity of Ben's office. Doesn't work in French (see the Facebook screenshot above). 

The space between the bites.

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We were on the way back from the classical music concert. I was in the middle of trying to explain politely why no applause is expected between the movements. And than she said :" but you are just a snob!" We are still friends though. And she doesn't clap anymore between Largo and Allegretto. At least when I am there. Pretentious? Moi?

I would prefer to see myself as a holistic perceiver. The one that sees the shapes and the spaces in between as a whole. As one piece of art where shapes and emptiness are united in a way which creates the beauty of the whole. Where shapes can not be detached from the emptiness which actually makes them the shapes. The beauty of a shape doesn't exist without some space around it.

The same about food. Space full of conversations, delightful activities. Attentive listening. Productive activities. Or mindless wondering.
If you eat non-stop you just simply lose it. The beauty of eating goes away.
A lovely, much more down-to-earth piece about this. Full of irony too.

Public eating is fraught. If hotdogs at the cinema are OK, why not a bacon bap at a play?

New Year - new rules?

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"There are plenty of media features on etiquette starting with “There isn’t enough respect to X Y Z today.” It is a famous old adage you would find to a certain extent in any generation when people start noticing that police and doctors look a bit like children. Etiquette is changing together with the society, as good manners are there to keep society progressing, not to hold it back.

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” (Socrates, 2016) .

Nothing has changed, I have to admit—just the means for chatting."

Tanya Kosh Are You in or Are You Out? 

The rules of snobbery are changing too. And as it has been published in Tatler, it might be official.
Apparently, paper napkins are in. But cleaning your fork with your knife in the mid-air is still out.

http://www.tatler.com/news/articles/december-2016/tatler-guide-to-snobbery

Has your own list of rules changed?

Dinner for one. The most famous English movie in Germany, Switzerland and Austria

which is hardly known in the UK.
It is shown every New Year Eve. It was in the Guinness book of records till 1995 as the most repeated TV show in the world. They don't have this category anymore though.

When my German colleagues talked to me for the first time about it they thought I was some sort of recluse in London. Or lunatic. But clearly without TV.

I had to get on YouTube to understand what they were talking about.
No, I've never seen it on any of the British TV channels. Not around New Year eve, not at any other time of the year.
I was happy to read this article by William Horsley. Made me feel sane again. I am not the only brit who missed it.

Germany feasts on Dinner for One - BBC News

The movie is very short. There are only two actors there and the festive table set for few more people. Worth watching.

Happy New Year!

Tanya Kosh and your "How to Eat" team 

Knife holders - in or out?

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Dogs, pigs, horses, elaborated designs - those are holders for the knives (the photo was taken in Dorotheum, main auction house in Vienna). Do they make the table more beautiful? What do you think?

"If you go to Dorotheum in Austria, the main auction house of the country, you will find millions of embellishments to the table. Just a couple of examples. Knife stands, which have no function rather than decorative one. You can’t put the knife you used on it. The tiniest bit of gravy will immediately end up on the table clothes. Gravity is still in place on this planet. “Bone holders,” which are tiny trays with special hooks to be adjusted to the plate.

Either poultry was much smaller previously, or they never ever were used for any other purpose than to show that you are “in the know.” Gravy/sauce holders adjusted to the plates in a similar manner. While those are at least useful to prevent all of your food being soaked in sauce, especially if the latter has a rather strong taste, I was strongly advised against them and was told a couple of horror stories about sauce holders ending on the table and all the juices on the diners. While many of these things could be very beautiful in a way some figurines are, they are nothing else to the table than “decorations and cutesies” and superfluous accessories.

This is the function any other fashion has. If you can demonstrate you are fully conversant with what is in vogue, you move immediately couple of steps up the hierarchy ladder within your own social group. You are not only“in,” you might even become a trend-setter."

"ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT? Inclusivity and exclusivity of table manners"

by Tanya Kosh 

One of the best table manners possible.

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One of the best table manners possible, in my recent experience: never ever comment on the name of the restaurant you are invited to, however tempting. Don't  even think of it. It could be much worse than the following:

"Very indirectly connected to table manners, clearly literally connected to language, and somehow a food-related joke to all the English colleagues of mine were the invitations to German and Austrian restaurants with rather interesting names. You don’t expect to be invited to “Lust Haus” (restaurant in Vienna) when on business trip. Not really, even if the idea had been crossing your head couple of times in some form or shape. You definitely don’t expect to find good food in LoosHaus(Austria). Service – definitely. But food? And the winner was the invitation from then CEO. We had the rather serious meeting, which ended with his joyful invitation to the unprepared public: “And now we all go to Wonka!” (restaurant in Germany) Turned out to be a rather fine place. “Shall we go to Wonka” became a synonym for the invitation to go out for a meal for a couple of years to follow." (Tanya Kosh, "Are You in or are you Out?)

It could be much, much worse. Sorry if you find the photo below disturbing. No offence meant. Just a snap of reality.

TK

Your Tables and Their Manners

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Tables are not for food only. Some of them are for candles. Some for books. But all require appropriate manners.

And all table manners talk. They tell people who you are, what you are, what do you want to be and where do you go.

"Not only is a stacked coffee table visually arresting, it also speaks volumes about who you are and your sense of style." 

An interesting take on table manners from Vanity Fair UK.

http://alist.vanityfair.co.uk/table-manners-9184/

Londoners were revealed to have the foulest eating habits, followed closely by those in the North East and Yorkshire.

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Oh no, we are absolutely not... She said supporting her point with a fork in her hand.

Read more accusations/old news about dirty British table manners

The Loos(haus) - this way

Hill-walking in the Alps could be very confusing. Don't get hopeful thinking you know where you need to go. One shouldn't assume one understands the signs however clear they are to you when back home...



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Loos

And back home...

Bad Habits. The worst of it.

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image: http://www.justinm.tk/2016/05/bad-habits-related-to-health.html

Bad manners differ in type and magnitude. The Telegraph came up with the list of the 20 most annoying. Some of them are directly connected to table manners, some are not. Interestingly enough, those which are not could be possibly even more annoying  if practised at the table. Just  imagine that... Oh, no. Better not. Don't.  Just read the article without visualising it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/20-of-the-worst-bad-habits---how-many-are-you-guilty-of/

The influence of McDonald's

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Etiquette is not fixed. It changes. It develops together with the society. You don't need a revolution for this. New technology, new business entering the country. They might pretend they follow your rules and accept your manners.. They even adapt their signs to fit your environment, like McDonald's in Salzburg (Austria)

Interestingly enough, the influence of McDonald's on etiquette is so big, that people even do their degrees studying it.

The Influence of McDonald’s on Chinese Etiquette

French Habits

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A little guide on French table manners we found today:http://www.pariscultureguide.com/french-table-manners.html. Most of it could be applied to the majority of European countries, but one crucial thing is missing.

The universal rule to using your cutlery everywhere else is something along these lines: using utensils on the outside first and working your way inward (well, there is some less appropriate advice on that page,  nothing criminal, but be aware: they cannot decide which word to use - serviette or napkin...). What I came across in France during the rather formal dinners is that cutlery is arranged according to size creating really beautiful, beautiful butterfly wings. The only problem - you really need to be able to distinguish your pudding fork from your salad one. I talked to the French friend yesterday - he reckons this is the thing of the past.

The example below is a bit easier.
If only every meal were this complicated: The 12 courses include: Caviar, Escargot, Seafood Cocktail, Soup, Fish, Lobster, Entree, Palate Cleanser, Releve(main) Course, Salad, Dessert, Coffee/Tea

Try to find the fork for snails on this picture. And please let us know if you think that whoever laid the table in this picture really thinks that salad needs a knife? Otherwise what is that last one for?

And no comments here on the napkin ring. I have been told in England that it is a universal class divider. More on it later.

Lemon gadgets

Many things have been invented around the table. Some of them stay, some of them go.
There are many ways to squeeze lemon.
This one I found in Zagreb, Croatia.

Cherishing food

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Table manners are about the most important thing for humans. They are about food. Food has fascinated artists for centuries. Still life continues to be a subject of choice for many talented painters today. Let us introduce you to just one of them, 
Brett Humphries and his solo exhibition at Catto  Gallery in London

"...astonishing paintwork brings a hyper-real quality to the food items, vases and utensils that populate his world. His berries are just very very berry."

An optical illusion

No, she doesn't suck her cutlery.

That awkward moment when your underwear becomes part of your table manners...

Table Manners by Alan Ayckbourn.

Table manners most of the time are not about how you eat. They are more about who you are. What you value. Where do you come from and where you are going.
And it could be very-very funny.